August 16, 2022
Father narrowly escapes prison

A suburban father narrowly escapes a lengthy prison sentence this afternoon, after his teenage daughter smacked her lips and rolled her eyes after being told to do her chores. The teenage girl, who is only being identified by her father as “That little motherfucker”, didn’t sustain any injuries during the incident. One person that we spoke with says “she is lucky that she didn’t wake up in the middle of next week. That  man was known to slap disrespectful people back in the day for far less.” 

With almost 2 weeks left to go before kids head back to school, things are sure to get worse before they get better. The man is a father of 2 girls, the oldest having the shittiest attitude, while the youngest is the most annoying. 

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