As a parent, you find yourself repeating the same things over and over again to your children. For my girls, anything that I say is like the first time they are hearing the English language. I find myself having serious Déjà vu as I bang my head against the proverbial wall. Trying to get anything to stick with these two seems pointless at this juncture. But I will not be defeated!
Using my cunningness, I’ve turned to using my best “responsible dad” impersonation and attacking the situation with short life lessons. Something that will hopefully stick, even if they are trying to ignore me. I’ve learned not to ramble on as this causes their eyes to glaze over and their brain shuts to down leaving them in a drooling stupor. It’s not pretty, and only makes me want to rant longer.
Surviving Life this week involved 5 life lessons for the kids. I’ve already repeated them all at least 3 times. Something must be working because they are starting to mock me using my own words.
5 life lessons for the kids
Stop being an asshole to your sister. It’s going to be the two of you for the rest of your life. Get use to it. You have to take care of and look out for one another. Love each other and learn how to communicate without all the yelling. You will not grow up hating one another. You will not grow up constantly fighting each other. You will not resent each other. Have patience and help guide one another through life. You will be sisters forever. Don’t let anything get in between your love. Besides, it will only get worse from here so you might as well learn how to deal with it.
Stop having meltdowns and storming off for not getting your way. If you only get two ice cubes but you wanted three, that isn’t a reason for an instant tantrum. There will be no slamming your body to the ground. There will be no screaming about the fairness of my actions. I am the be all and end all. You are lucky that you don’t get luke warm water. I had to stand at that sink for almost two minutes. I, should have thrown a tantrum. I, should be crying in the corner. My sadness is the deepest sadness that can be felt. No one wants to hear about your issues with the amount of ice cubes you receive. Daniel Tiger said stomp 3 times and then get over it. Listen to his advise.
Stop eating like you’re in jail. There is plenty of food and plenty of time to eat it. No one is going to take it away from you. If you finish all of your food and you are still hungry… there is more. We are not so poor that you have to do battle with your sister to see who gets the remains. There is no reason for anyone to lose a finger at dinner. I know for a fact that you just ate an hour ago. You don’t need to eat the bone marrow. That’s going to cost a fortune in dental bills and you don’t have a job. Do you want to walk around with chipped teeth? Is it really worth it?
The world does not revolve around you. Contrary to what you believe, you are not The Most important thing to me or anyone else. Sure I love you, but you are not my entire world. I have other options. Don’t rely on others to make you feel special and important. Don’t put so much emphasizes on what others think about you. Be your own person and walk your own path. As long as you care, that’s all that matters. Don’t drag me into your nonsense. I could care less if you can stand on one leg.
Your opinion doesn’t matter. No one cares what you think. You have no voice. You have no opinion. You have no say in the matter. Your room MUST be cleaned. You MUST brush your teeth. There will be no bargaining. Learn this now, otherwise life will destroy you later. Life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. Think about all the kids that don’t have teeth. I bet they would like to brush something.