Wed. Apr 24th, 2019

Day 4 of “The Urge”

Today I have “The Urge”. “The Urge” to what? The Urge to everything. The Urge to buy a pack a cigarettes and smoke just one. To feel the cool sensation of menthol hit the back of my throat while my lungs burn from toxic infused smoke. An artistic Urge to create a one of a kind love themed mural on my bedroom wall, just to frantically paint over it for not being as I had envisioned. The anxious urge to collect, count and recount the abandoned coins collected from various crevasses around the house.
I could surely get my fix with that.
These Urges…
The urge to drink “The Urge” away. To eat it away. To beat it away. Having the sensation of tiny red fire ants marching in rows of 4 underneath my skin. Trying not to scratch and give in.
Willpower and determination must surely prevail. That sweet seductive temptress… she has a hold of me. Calling out for me. To remind me of what I’m giving up. Her sweet, mouth watering nectar. Addictive and dangerous. Day 4 without sugar… The struggle is real!


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